How To Think Differently About Fear…

How To Think Differently About FearHave you ever been parasailing? 

I’ve gotta tell ya, there’s something about it that’s just a little too scary for me.

But not for my brother and my two nieces, who went parasailing during our recent trip to Greece together.

I was really impressed with their bravery and tempted to get hard on myself for feeling a little too scared to do it, but I didn’t…

Because I reminded myself of all of the other brave things I’ve done in my life. Like…

:: Lived, breathed and overcame a traumatic spend-the-night phobia as a child.

:: Moved to Boston by myself, without a job and without knowing anyone.

:: Walked across a telephone poll that was 25 feet high off the ground – and then back!

:: And, of course, bare my heart and soul each week by sharing my experiences on my very public blog.

And other things too, but enough about me…

What I want to focus on is you…

Have you ever thought about fear like this?

It’s easy to get hard on ourselves for our fears. We often equate them with weaknesses. And worse, we can tend to project that others are thinking us weak because of our fears.

We hear a lot about how we should try and overcome our fears…and that’s good advice.

But I want to give you some different advice that may help you live with fear a little bit more easily…

:: Focus on the fears worth defeating.

Not all fears are created equal. And not all fears need to be conquered. For example, I don’t really have a great interest in parasailing. So, why focus my energy on overcoming this fear? And, more importantly, why even feel badly about myself for not overcoming this fear? Waste of time. Waste of energy. Period. Same goes for you. Don’t let these “unimportant fears” negatively impact your opinion of yourself.

:: Concentrate on courage.How To Think Differently About Fear

We all have different areas of fear and different areas of boldness. When tempted to get hard on yourself over your fears, remind yourself of and stay focused on all of the areas in which you have great courage. Focusing on these “courage areas” helps us keep our fears in their proper perspective, i.e., they are a part of us, not all of us, and helps us reframe the way we see ourselves, i.e., I am a courageous person with some fears rather than a fearful person with some courage.

Tweet this –> Instead of putting yourself down for your fears, celebrate the areas where you have courage – via @BeYourself_TRWF

:: Celebrate your strength.

If you still find yourself focusing on your fears rather than your courage, celebrate the strength you have in living with and experiencing these fears, and know that they’ve given you a resilience to face anything that comes your way in life. (Psst…adversity does this too!)

:: :: ::

So, now, I’d love to hear your thoughts. I know that fear is something many people wrestle with. How do you fight fear? Share and inspire in the comments below!

To courage,



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  1. I have been parasailing. It was not fear that I needed to overcome, but inertia. I found myself saying “someday”. Then I realized there is no “someday”–only now. And I got up from the beach and headed for the parasail.

    • Hi Diane, that’s wonderful! Definitely think it’s important to try and overcome whatever is holding us back. I also think it’s important, however, that we not get so hard on ourselves for some of those things we may fear…which I think is easy to do! And I just hoped to remind everyone that there are times when it is ok to give yourself permission to not feel like you have to overcome something like a fear…that perhaps it’s better to focus on where you are courageous. But I am glad that you overcame your inertia to go parasailing! Thanks, as always, for reading and for commenting…love hearing from you! ~ Rachel