How To Stop Comparing Yourself To Others. | Be Yourself and the Rest Will Follow®

So, I was at Starbucks working on this week’s blog post, when this skinny, 5’ 10” girl walks by.

And I flash back to myself at 12 years old, when I was at the pediatrician’s office and she looked at my hand and said, “Sorry, Rachel, you’re not going to get any taller.”

I was 5’ 2”. And, at 41 years old, I still am.

If I’m being honest, I probably spent much of my earlier life comparing myself to taller girls I saw. And what did I conclude?

That not only was I short, but I came up short.

Until I started thinking about the good things about being short. Like, chances are, most men would be taller than me – so more dating options! And, according to a 1992 World Health Organization study, shorter people live longer. (Since I’m terrified of death, this one’s probably the best perk!)

When it comes to comparing yourself, listen to Theodore Roosevelt.

Last week, I offered you a critical tool for a more joyous life; this week, I’m highlighting another, and it comes by way of Theodore Roosevelt, who said, “Comparison is the thief of joy.”

Haven’t you noticed this? That whenever you think or say things like…

I’m not as pretty as she is…

I’m not as skinny as she is…

I don’t have as much money as he does…

I’m not as ______ as she is….(fill in the blank with your own unique comparison.)

…that you chip away, comparison by comparison, more and more of your joy? And not just the joy you feel about life, but the joy you feel about yourself.

How to stop comparing yourself to others and start embracing YOU instead.

How can we stop that comparison thief in its tracks?

: | Make a list and check it twice.

Remember how, in the Does Your Self Image Need An Update post, I suggested you make a list of how you see yourself today versus in the past? Well, hopefully, that list included lots of great things about yourself. When tempted to compare yourself to others, remind yourself of all of those great things. And if you’re still tempted to compare, compare yourself to yourself of yesterday and ask, “How have I grown today?”

: | Follow my parents’ advice.

As my parents so wisely taught me, there will always be people who have more than you and people who have less than you. How does it serve us to focus on what others have versus what we have (or haven’t)? It doesn’t. Focus on what you have or on who you are, and realize that is more than enough.

: | Recognize there’s usually more than meets the eye.

There’s a wellness coach I know of whose life looks perfect and prime for comparison from the outside – she’s pretty, has a cute husband, a successful career, and a beautiful house. And, oh, she’s been living with cancer for ten years. Realize that what you see on the surface, i.e., what you’re comparing yourself to, may not be the whole truth.

It’s natural to observe differences between ourselves and others, but don’t ever think of yourself as less just because you perceive that somebody else is more. (Tweet this!)

To embracing YOU,