If You Really Want To Grow, You Can At Any Time...And Here's How.

Have you ever been to Stonehenge?

I went when I was about 10 years old, during a family vacation to England with my parents, brother and two grandmothers (Grandma Rae and Nana).

Talk about awe-inspiring. I mean, here you have this deceptively simple rock formation that dates back to around 3100 BC.

Incredible!

Well, except to Nana, who exclaimed, “I don’t see what the big deal is. It’s just a pile of rocks.”

As you can see, Nana was not easily impressed.

But, of course, Stonehenge is more than just a ‘pile of rocks’. And it really is amazing that these ‘rocks’ have been around for so long.

In tact. And unchanged. (Like, ever!)

Who says who you are is written in stone?

And, you know, that kinda works for Stonehenge. Like many prehistoric monuments, some things aren’t meant to change.

But you and I? We’re a different story. Who we are is not written in stone. And we can change, grow and evolve at any time. (<– Tweet This!)

That’s awesome, right? That means every single day − no, make that every single moment − we have the opportunity to transform into our best selves.

But how? How do we change ourselves when even changing a habit can feel so impossible?

How to grow when you really want to, but don’t know how…

Growth comes down to three things: 1) Awareness 2) Desire 3) Action

:: Awareness – Grab a Mirror

To grow yourself, you have to know yourself. We spend so much time trying to get to know others, but what about getting to know ourselves? The times I’ve grown the most in life are when I’ve been willing to take that hard look in the mirror and see not only the good things, but also the not so good things that I knew I needed to work on to be a better person. It can be scary to look within, but you can do it.

Don’t know where to start? Use these trigger questions to discover areas of growth:

?| Where in your life are you not getting what you want and what is it about yourself that’s keeping you from getting it?

?| What about your behaviors causes negative feelings within yourself? (For example, I used to get a little snappy with a certain family member for little reason. Not only did this make this family member feel badly, but it made me feel horribly – I knew inside I had to change this. And I did.)

:: Desire – Have the will to change.

Steve Jobs, in recounting how he mercilessly and often rudely drove his employees at Apple, said, “That’s just who I am”, as if to imply he couldn’t change. More likely, he didn’t have the will to change. Almost everyone can change – if we want to or are inspired to. Think about that one thing you’d like to change about yourself and ask, “What is the cost to me if I don’t change this?” or “What could I have even more of in my life if I were to change?” Let your responses give you the motivation you need to evolve.

:: Action – Catch and change.

To change, we must get super conscious of when we are exhibiting the behavior or quality we want to change (i.e., catch it) and then choose a different behavior (i.e., change it). When changing anything about ourselves, remember, it often happens in starts and stops − meaning we may take a step forward (i.e., make progress), then a step back, and then another step forward until the change becomes permanent. That’s OK. Just keep taking steps forward.

Like, with me and my family member, I had to get really good at catching myself, in real time, acting snappy and at choosing a different reaction. At first, I slipped a little, but I kept at it until my “snappy” reaction was no longer the habitual one it once was.

And, now, my family member and I have an even greater relationship than we had before.

I’m so glad that I changed. That I grew.

That who I was wasn’t written in stone.

And neither are you.

To changing and growing,